It is happening again

Well I am pissed. Once again friends have gone out and done something I have expressed interest in. I don't know if my expression of interest was misinterpreted, or if I am just not welcomed in that group of friends anymore. I need human contact like anyone else, but why do my friends have to be out and away to far.

Maybe it is time for new friends.

Edit: of course once I cool down, things don't look that bad. But still, it stings.

Paranoia and Doubt

One of my problems is paranoia and doubt. My doubt feeds my paranoia and vice versa. This happens usually when my expectations of reality are not met. My mind then seams to spiral down into a line of worst care scenarios. Once this starts, even when I am aware of it, there is little I can do but to ride it out. It is very frustrating and the only way I seam to control it at all is to not raise my expectations at all.

While that helps, it is very limiting. If you don't have high exportations, you have no dreams and no desire to improve or excel.

I know this is all in my mind, I know I can over come it in time. But it is so frustrating to be this way today.